On a recent trip to visit family, I, in my infinite ignorance, decided to ask my brother in law and his wife if they were planning anything special for my mother in law's 80th birthday. Of course they said no, which I knew was going to be the answer before I asked since not one of her 4 children planned anything special for her 70th or 75th. Seriously my mom passed away when she was 57 years old, how long do they think their mom will be around. So I made the suggestion that we, me, my husband, his brother and his brother's wife take mom to France for vacation and to visit her brother. She is from France and hadn't seen her brother in 20 years. They were very excited and so were we. So I began my research and started planning.
Now this is where my ignorance on large families began. I was not aware that in a large family you couldn't do something nice for a parent without including all siblings. You see my husband has two other siblings. One of whom wanted us to change the date to fit her and her children's need. Yeah well luckily we had already purchased airline tickets based on when my brother in law could go before he mentioned it to her. I also was not aware that as parents of adult children my brother in law would feel the need to include his two adult children both in their twenties and his daughter's boyfriend. What wait I am busy planning a trip for 4 adults in their 50's and 1 adult turning 80, what do twenty year olds want to hang with us for. And seriously it was going to be hard enough getting a table for 5 let alone 8!!! in Paris oh come on give me a break. And this is suppose to be a trip about mom, you know going to see what she wants at her pace. Are we in such a selfish society that by the time we decide to go we are already making it about us. No I say No!!! This is about my mother in law and I will fight tooth and nail to keep it that way.
So all this whining being said I now come to the main point of this blog, cost. My husband and I are paying for 2 people and half of our mom's expenses. My Brother in law is paying for 4 adults and 1/2 of our mom's expenses. So now he if freaking out about the cost and the fact that we are no longer sharing a car, cause seriously who wants to be in a car with 8 people all talking and needing to stop for the restroom at different times, not this non sharing small family 50 year old!!! I am already freaking out about having to deal with the fact that the house we are renting will be a lot noisier and crowded, I ain't sharing my car. I am sure in the end everything will work out but in the meantime trying to get them to pay for the deposit for the house, since we paid for all their hotel rooms for three nights and that cost more than our share of the house for a week, seems a bit harder than it should be. But I keep telling myself a true gift comes with sacrifice so if I am stressed out and bald from pulling my hair this must be an awesome gift. But the truth is I want my mother in law to know she is loved and that this is really solely about her. My husband and I would no way be going to France otherwise, so I hope it all works out and she feels special and loved in the end.
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