Evaluating Ones Situation in Life

Last Friday I received a call from my doctor's nurse letting me know that I had to come in for a biopsy because there had been some changes since my last mammogram.  Alrighty no problem I said.  She made it seem so easy I didn't have to fast and would be able to drive myself home after.  No operating room just the ultrasound room, which I had been in already.  Oh wow I thought modern medicine is so cool a biopsy without surgery.  Then she said 'we'll numb the area before we remove some tissue samples.  It will probably take 2 hours since we have to get samples from both sides'  Okay uh what did she say numb the area,  I thought I best do some research so I did and what I found out was not good.  I am awake sitting up while they are poking me all around with needles!  I guess a little panic set in. 
By now you are probably thinking that I am writing this blog because of this situation but not so.  This situation just caused me to re-evaluate some areas in my life.  You see I have lived here in South Florida coming up on 8 years, and I have been attending the same church for about 3 years so when this situation occurred I immediately picked up the phone and called....no one.  I tried to think of someone I was close enough to to ask to come, since my husband was going to be out of town.  Someone that I thought really cared about me, not an acquaintance or someone I was friendly with at church, but someone who had reached out to me in friendship.  My mom used to tell me if I showed myself friendly I would have friends.  So every time we moved I would do just that, I had friends in California and Texas but for whatever reason I don't seem to have any here.  Now if you are reading this and are hurt by my words I am sorry but I ask you to ask yourself have you shown yourself friendly towards me; have you had me over or invited me to join you for lunch or anything?  I have people over for lunch and dinners often I have tried to get to know them and they seem to like me just fine. I am showing them my friendly without any expectations.  I hear of them getting together with others and going out with others but I never seem to make the invite list which is fine I hold no grudge.  But when this situation came up because of the lack of friendliness shown toward me I didn't feel as if I could call anyone. 
And this is the point of the blog evaluating ones situation in life.  God is in control of all things I let go of and I try to let go of everything that way I can have true joy knowing that whatever happens it is what He wanted to happen.  But I am questioning this,  Does God really want me to be alone through this? Well no He got it so my husband could re-arrange his trip and get back in time to go with me.  And even though I don't necessary have girlfriends here I do have them else where and they called to check up on me.  And I am a bit depressed but hanging in there, I am scared about the biopsy, not what they might find, but mostly depressed to think that in 8 years there isn't one person I could call not one person to say hey let's do lunch or come over for coffee.  But this too will pass once I get through the next couple weeks I probably will just resign myself to this is what God wants me to have and believe you me I have a lot, a husband who loves me after 31 years, two wonderful Children and two great children in laws, two beautiful grandchildren and one on the way  really all this whining is just because I am a bit depressed and very scared.  ah suck it up that's all I can tell myself!